242.2lbs

Yesterday marked one month on the Gundry low carb diet.  In one month, I lost just over 6 pounds.  I was on track to losing at least 10 pounds, but then last week hit and, oh, it all went to hell.

So if you guys dont follow me on Instragram, you are probably unaware that my son's 6th birthday party was this past Saturday, March 10th.  About two weeks ago, my husband broke the news to me that he had to take a last-minute business trip to Florida from March 4-9th.  Terrible, terrible timing.  I was on my period, I hadn't done ONE THING for the party yet, my in-laws were coming in on the 8th, and it was (SURPRISE SURPRISE!) expected to rain on the day of my son's party, which was to take place at a park.  To say I was drowning in stress is an understatement.  

I am a classic example of a binge-eater who eats her feelings and, my gosh, did I experience a whole ton of feelings last week.  However, I did try to keep my eating on point and I succeeded for the most part.  That is, until my in-laws came into town on Thursday.  I am not going to go over what I gorged on from Thursday afternoon until Sunday night, but it was brutal and contained a whole lot of carbs.  And alcohol.  

I woke up Monday morning feeling terrible, exhausted, and depressed and I stepped on the scale thinking I would be back up to 248 pounds easily.  But, nope.  242.2lbs. I was super relieved and thankful.  I also felt really disappointed in myself for giving into temptation, even when stressed, and binge eating the hell outta this weekend.  It was like everything that I have been discussing with my therapist went in one ear and out the other.  

With my son's birthday party came the obligatory pictures.  I try to stay out of each and everyone of them and, thankfully, my family knows I hate taking pictures so they usually point their phones in the opposite direction.  But I caught a glimpse of myself in the background of one picture and, oy vey, it was brutal.  It was absolutely brutal.  I let myself be sad and depressed for a bit and then I made myself get over it because I knew that this is a new day and I wasn't going to give up.  I'm not going to give up on myself, and give into that heifer in that picture. 

I'm going to fix myself.  I am my project.  And it's actually pretty fucking exciting.